Why do I recognize and support #internationalwomensday ? My whole life, I have been surrounded by strong, intelligent, and inspiring women.

 My dream team and I were in NYC yesterday to meet with the doctors at Sloan to review the results of the full body scan from last week.  We had already been able to view results of the extensive blood work , and it was all positive.  Back when this journey started in September, my Carcinoembryonic Anitgen count, which measures specific proteins in the blood count was 205.3ng/ml.  That number, unfortunately, was dangerously high and indicative of a patient with stage 4 metastasized cancer.  I have since had 4 brain tumors copiously extinguished via Gamma Knife radiation surgery at NYU, and am through over 11 High Dose chemo treatments at Sloan.  I feel exceedingly fortunate that these procedures and treatments have my Carcinoembryonic plummeting.  In November, blood work revealed that my new number was 68.8 ng/mL , and the test last week brought it down even further - all the way down to 15.7 ng/ml.  We need to get this number down to the normal range of 0-0.5ng, but we are trending south, and swiftly.  

It had been two months since my last brain MRI.  It certainly doesn't seem like that long ago, but with the jubilant delirium of the holidays and the frequent medical appointments, time has been a disarrayed blur ( mostly in a good way though )

"Mr Fahey, you are making us look good"

With those words, triumphantly announced by my doctor as he strode into the exam room this morning, I instantaneously went from quiet anguish to sheer elation.  The chemo is working.. Its Working !!!

Fortunately, my dream team ( Doreen, My Brothers, and my Sister-in-law Carlyn ) were all in the room to digest the particulars and details, because by this point, my mind was no longer in that exam room and all I could see was visions of my kids and think of how glorious it was going to feel telling them some good news. 

The Doctor had the results of my CT Scan from last week and he talked through each area of concern.  Each of my tumors had began to shrink - the news could not be better at this point.  

The fight continues and there is still work to do.  Yes, the tumors are shrinking, but they are not gone.. I still need shots to keep the white cell count up, so need to be cautious of being exposed to germs.  Overall, however, this day could not have gone better.  After hugs, a few tears by me, and huge thanks to the doctors, we marched down the hall to start Chemo Treatment #5..   The course of action stays the same for now - keep on hitting the cancer with heavy doses, so long as my body keeps tolerating as well as it has.  I shocked the nurses by showing up 10lbs heavier than last visit - I'm almost back to my normal weight and determined to keep fighting like hell.   The cancer reached my brain, my colon, my lungs, my spleen - but not my heart - which is powering this train. Its being fueled by the positive vibes and love from my family and friends, and the euphoric combustion generated by the hugs from two 8yr olds. 

Peace , Love, and Gratitude to All 

 In normal times, getting up to drive into NYC at 4:30am would not qualify as "A Good Day", at least not for an old night owl more accustomed to traveling the other direction through the tunnel at these ungodly hours after a night of merriment.  Traveling east-bound for a 7am brain MRI is a gentle reminder that life is a circuitous, unpredictable journey without a script, blueprint, or a guarantee.  It had been just over 45 days since my world became inverted upon itself with a colon cancer diagnosis, accompanied by four tumors pressing on the base of my brain.  This morning, Doreen and I were driving in to NYU Hospital for a follow-up to determine if the Gamma Knife Radiation Surgery successfully treated the brain tumors, and to see if any others had made their way into my dome.  I have become fairly effectual at fighting back panic and dread in the last months, I have my moments, but for the most part I have it under control - this morning, I was fighting hard on that trip in.  Doreen was being optimistic, and I wanted to be, but quietly, I was struggling.  Struggling so much so that I didn't have time to overthink the claustrophobia of laying in the MRI machine for 30 minutes.  Doreen kept asking me if I wanted them to give me a sedative, but I wasn't in the right mode to process much. I couldn't recall if I had a sedative at the last MRI ?  I declined the sedative, and almost immediately regretted that decision when the motor on the MRI started rolling me back into the machine. "UGH! what am I thinking ?"  Thankfully, it was all of about 5 seconds before I was able to calm myself and realize that my stress had nothing to do with the claustrophobia, but with what the results of the MRI would show. I was now calm and the 30 minutes actually went rather quickly.

 Johnny Cash, one of my music heroes, once said about setbacks "Use it as a stepping stone... Close the door on the past...  don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."  We had a minor setback this week.  On Tuesday, Doreen and I left the house at 4:45am to beat the traffic into Gotham. We had a 7am meeting with my doctors at Sloan Kettering, which was to be followed by the start of chemo treatment number two.  Both my brothers, and my sister in law Carlyn made the early trip in to meet us, as they always do.  I told them they don't need to make the journey in for these, but its a fruitless conversation, I can't persuade them. With Doreen, they have been there for every meeting with doctors, and have handled so much of the logistics and coordination of my care.  Truth be told, I have a naivete with all things medical, and would be lost without these guys.  Having them there has also been immensely comforting.  With Doreen, they are my "dream team" along with my sister in law, Lianne, my dear friend since 3rd grade, who drops everything to look after my kids and manage things at home while we are in NYC.