It had been two months since my last brain MRI. It certainly doesn't seem like that long ago, but with the jubilant delirium of the holidays and the frequent medical appointments, time has been a disarrayed blur ( mostly in a good way though )
Today's scan was set for 7am in a brutal, frigid NYC. November's scan brought the fantastic news that the Gamma Knife radiation surgery from October had shrunk the 4 Tumors on my oversized coconut to the point where only 1 was still visible, and even that straggler had diminished to the point where the good doctor was certain it would not be an issue. I admit that I am a novitiate for all things medical, so the unequivocalness of an MRI is reassuring to me. After 35 minutes of roaring, bouncing radio waves and vibrating magnetic pulses, the doctors are presented with astonishingly detailed 3d Images of the cranium and brain stem. There is no ambiguity - compare the previous image to the current image and the incontrovertible truth is laid out before your eyes.
It turns out that NYU has more than one type of MRI machine.. In November, after checking my vitals and setting the IV for the contrast medicine , Doreen and I were led into a very spacious, modern MRI room that looked state-of-the-art. I was first in line that morning, so they took me right in without time for me to properly process if I was claustrophobic. This morning, however, there were a few folks ahead of me.. I was in "que" based on which MRI room and machine freed up first. After a short wait, my name was called and I was being led passed the modern MRI room and down a staircase and long corridor.. Uh oh.. Why did it seem I was being taken to the basement ? Is this where the steam-powered, temperamental MRI machines are kept functioning with duct tape and the occasional kick to the side to keep the incandescent bulbs percolating ? My mind started racing as I imagined the technicians having pet names for the ancient , hulking contraptions.. " Bessie "... " Big Bertha ".... "Ol' Rusty ".... UGH
There was a small waiting area outside the lone room downstairs, and there was definite clamoring from a group that was apparently ahead of me in the QUE.. An older gentleman was clearly agitated and was arguing with his family that he was not "going back into that F'ing tube".. .Oh great, this was reassuring.. He apparently had just started the MRI and squeezed the provided "panic button" which alerts the technicians when the patient is in duress due to anxiety in the tube. I felt nothing but sympathy for the old timer, mostly because he reminded me of my beloved late Grandfather. "Pops", my Mom's father, is a comedic hero of mine. His wit was not quick, it was impossibly instantaneous and legendary to those fortunate enough to know him. He had the rare and inimitable gift of being able to paint a visual with virtuous eloquence even when at his most colorful.. When the old timer today protested that he was not proceeding with the MRI because "it was like they were injecting me into a raging mechanical bull's arse ", I smiled thinking of Pops, then wondered what the hell type of sepulchral tube I was about to climb into.. suffice it to say, I was not agog...
Luckily, as is usually the case, reality is not nearly as chilling as the illusions that our neurosis frames.. The MRI machine may not have been this years model, but I didn't see a pull-starter or any technicians holding down the "choke" when it started up. All in all, it was a similar experience to the November ride - and thankfully, the results were equally positive. The sole remaining tumor is still visible, but barely.. Its merely a faint speck that continues to wither and shrink.. The Doctor is pleased with how quickly the gamma knife worked.. It apparently can take up to 6 months before "shrinkage" can show up on the MRI's and I'm especially fortunate to report that in 3 months, my brain tumors are all but gone.. more work to do on the body tumors, but we are getting there..
It is extraordinarily fortuitous that my brother Rick happened to be working with gamma knife neurologists and had a relationship with the doctors / magicians at NYU who perform this revolutionary procedure. I had been minutes away from getting my melon sliced open , and likely part of my brain removed to reach these tumors that were pressing on my stem, before my brother had me pulled out of the first hospital and fast-tracked at NYU as a VIP. Grateful is not powerful or sufficient enough a word. Peace and Love to All ! JF