" When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around" - Willie Nelson ( Damn, I love Willie Nelson )

For the first time yesterday, Doreen and I didn't have to wake up at 3am to start our trek into NYC for a brain scan..  We actually were able to wake up at normal time, get the kids ready for school and then set course for an early afternoon appointment.  

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”
– Helen Keller

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough " - Mandino

So in the wee hours, with only the sound of owls and coywolves howling in the farm behind us, we set the compass once again for NYC and another follow-up MRI brain scan.  The last scan, In May, had unfortunately shown a tiny new tumor, which again meant more Gamma Knife surgery which was performed a week later.  Today's visit was to see the results of that surgery and to see if any new tumors arose.  I had quickly turned the page on the setback in May, but had recently been very anxious about todays scan, as more new tumors would mean the cancer was aggressively attacking..  By the time we made it out RT78 and were approaching the Holland Tunnel, we were being treated to an epic sunrise coming up through the buildings - it truly was one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen and helped calm me a bit..  I no longer get nervous about going in to the "tube" for the long scans, Its a small price pay and I can manage that now without any issue, Im only jittery about the eventual results..  

Thankfully, the results were "all clear" today.  No new "developments", so to speak.   The internal jubilation that rang through my body to this news was dizzying, and it took everything for me not to hold it together and not breakdown.  All I could think about were my kids and Doreen - and how hard I want to keep fighting to be there for them. 

I have a full body scan in a couple of weeks to see how the chemo is doing on the other tumors..  Im feeling good and looking for more good news..  As always, I am overwhelmed and forever grateful for all the positive thoughts and vibes - I am blessed with the greatest family and friends a guy could ever ask for. 

Always forward - full steam ahead ..  LOVE LOVE LOVE 

I had a busy week of scans in Mid-May - an MRI for the brain at NYU and a full CT scan for the body at Sloan.  As previously posted, the brain scan did pick up a new tumor, albeit a tiny, treatable "blip on the radar" and I had Gamma Knife surgery on that last Monday am.  Gamma Knife Surgery is a remarkable, state of the art procedure that I'm in absolute awe of.  I'm so fortunate and grateful to live in a time where geniuses are revolutionizing medicine and treatment with such mind-blowing advancements.  There is literally no incision - it is completely "noninvasive" ( although they do have to screw a helmet unto your head to keep it completely steady - sill a little sore from that, but a small price to pay )..  I will go back in a few months for a follow up brain scan so we can confirm / celebrate its success and make sure no new blips have arisen.  

Generally, when I do a full CT scan on the body, we meet with the docs a few days after to go through results.  This time, however, we had to delay a couple of weeks so we could get my noggin addressed. 

When we met with doctors following the successful Gamma Knife Radiation surgery on my brain 8 months ago, they had indicated that there was a 50/50 chance of recurrence until the chemo took care of the genesis of the cancer in my colon.. The scan today did pick up a recurrence - what appears to be a very tiny tumor - but a tumor nonetheless.  The original 4 tumors were terrifying in their size, this one looks like a faint speck on the MRI screen..  Not ideal, obviously, but also not catastrophic..  As the doc and my brother Rick indicated, after 8 months , while the chemo is doing its thing, we should be happy that its just a blip on the screen, and not 4 more big masses.  Doc told us today its not uncommon and he often has to perform the  surgery a few times until the rest of the cancer is gone.. Its thankfully located in an ideal spot for Gamma, and he said this Is "an easy one" - he is certain of the success of erasing it..   Its not causing any issues and its not an emergency to have it removed at this point, but we are going to get it on the schedule soon and take care of it.

I allowed myself about 10 minutes today to be bummed out that it wasn't the optimum news, but Doreen, my rock,  was there to quickly cheer me up.  I turned the page, thanked the doc and honestly, I'm all good and in great spirits..   Doreen and I went and hit our favorite NYC spot for Guac ( Dos Caminos ) and I treated myself to a Margarita ;)  

Speed bumps aren't going to sour me at this point - they don't stand a chance..  they are temporary station stops, not derailment ..  I have faith in the docs, the plan, and I'm thriving off the positive vibes and encouragement from so many - Life is fantabulous right now..  Onward - LOVE LOVE LOVE -  JF